thinking april

January 2010

The last time I saw you was my last day in UP for 2009. It was alright; we only said hi. Or maybe only I did, and you just smiled. An uptight curling of the lips, merely a smile, but I understand. You were never the smiling kind of guy.


I have often refused to remember all the moments we had, they were almost a year now. But they keep coming back, and even those moments I wished I had with you. I’ve always thought those were easy to forget, the nonexistent ones. But they come in the most trivial things I do, it sucks.


I wasn’t ungrateful of knowing you. Of having had the times that I was with you. I love them, and long sometimes that I could have them still. But longing didn’t get me anywhere far as I wanted to.


I missed you. And I am missing you, as I write this letter. It was without regret that I have known you. I was supposed to tell you this: when I was writing the story for a creative writing course, I thought of you. I wanted you, in those days, to read the story, to ask what you think, to know if you’d recognize yourself in the character. But it’s alright now, it had been awfully long. Us, not seeing. And not talking.


It wasn’t anybody’s fault, I think. So when I see you, some time in UP, I know that I would still say hi, and I know that you would still smile that uptight curl of the lips because some things just don’t change. Though we both know how we turned out to be for each other in the end.


But if you can, stay away. Cause I need to fall out.

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This is an entry to a blogging contest sponsored by Life with Ria and WebSpark.net.