First part here.
And there's the day when everything changed:
“I'm pregnant.”
It was a weekday morning before we get off to work. I was making coffee for both of us, hers with two more spoonful of sugar. I looked at her, her hair uncombed, her polo shirt still two buttons not done. She was holding the stick that shows two pink lines, tightly as though it might break.
“I'm –“
“I love you,” I told her. I thought I should just continue or one of us will start to cry.
“I love you, and I didn't know how long I can hold not saying it. But I just did, and I love you. And if I'm going to have a kid, I wanted it with you. And –“
She dropped the stick, but she didn't seem to bother. It's like she's decided not to pick it up. So I did. And I was holding it with both of my hands, and I was looking at these two pink pale lines that would change my life forever. Our life.
I kissed her. I held her cheek as I did, though I'm not sure which of us needs support. I held her, and I kissed her. And after, when I looked at her, her eyes were watery and I know mine were too but I won't cry. Not in this perfect moment, no.
“Let's get married,” I said for the first time in my life.
But she was shaking her head, and I couldn't understand what's happening.
“No. No, you don't understand. I don't want this.”
* * *
I can't remember how long we were not talking to each other since that morning she said she was pregnant. I tried to listen, Lilly. But all I could see was Sue shaking her head, crying, holding me, giving me the reason. But what reason?
She told me Lilly that she never really wanted a baby in the first place. And I couldn't understand, because it's no longer a matter of wanting one. There's already one and soon we'll both be parents to a little angel. It's not our choice anymore.
The sports channel showed a basketball finale but I couldn't really care. How long had this thing been on, I wondered. I lowered the volume. Lower, to zero.
Sue came out of the kitchen with a glass of orange juice. She was talking about something but I wasn't really sure, maybe it was something in the TV because when I didn't respond, she held the remote and switched to HBO.
I began to hear voices, little normal voices from the TV. It didn't feel real. What was she saying again?
I stood and walked to the window overlooking the condo's park, with the pool and the playground filled with kids and their nannies and their dogs. They didn't feel real too, but at least it's not like kids and dogs and lazing in parks had ever been real to me.
“I'll go out for a walk,” I said.
“I'll come with you,” and she did.
* * *
We were sitting by the pool deck. In front is the playground I saw earlier. There were just a few kids playing in the lot. Most of them were accompanied by their nannies.
I noticed a boy; he was led by an elderly, perhaps his lola to the slide. He was probably around three, or four, I can't be sure because I was never really familiar with kids. He went up the round stairs leading up to the slide quickly, very eager, but upon arriving at the top, he stopped. His lola waved a couple of times from the bottom to the little boy up the slide, urging him to sit. But the boy remained standing.
Several minutes passed by, a couple of kids stepped pass the little boy to take their turn on the slide, but the boy would not move. At some point, his lola went near him, now urging him to climb down from the stairs, it had been too long for the elderly. But the boy was transfixed.
This went on for a couple more minutes, but alas, the lola threatened to leave the boy in the playground. It seemed he wasn't scared of the threat until his lola actually left the park perimeter. He looked down the slide and was near to crying.
And then slowly, as if all the weight of the world is on him, he sat at the top of the slide. Forcibly yet lightly, he pushed his bottom forward, inch by inch, until he came down and away to touch the ground.
With a triumphant smile, the boy ran to where his lola had gone.
I noticed Sue suppressing a smile, and I knew she witnessed the same thing.
“I'm sorry I said that,” she said and I instantly knew what she was talking about. “I‟m sorry but I was just so scared, and – ” , I shushed her.
“You don't have to be scared Sue. We‟re in this together.” I reassured her, holding her fist with mine. And she was nodding vigorously and I hoped she deeply understood that I am with her in every step from then on because I really was.
I hugged her and held her tight as the moon inched its way up the night sky.
* * *
We left Diliman nearing 11. Now almost midnight, she gave me directions to her apartment.
“Thank you for tonight,” she said as I pulled the car over in front of her building.
We stood before a red door, which was probably mahogany, I noticed as she searched her bag for the keys. It took a while before she got hold of the keys, and finding the right key, fitting it to the lock, surprisingly took a while too. But I didn't mind. It was only then that I noticed her perfume, something mild and flowery.
I was going through all the features I didn't notice earlier: her purple blouse, her penciled skirt, the length of her hair, the way it slightly curls at the end.
I was fighting the urge to ask her out on a second date while we're still in the first. Maybe I should ask her out through text instead, or call three days after. I was thinking all these things when alas, she opened the door and turned to me and asked,
“Would you like to come up?”
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