Because one thing had always remained a personal cliché every yearend: a New Year blog!
In 2012, I –
1. Climbed Mt. Pulag, and Mt. Pico de Loro. And decided later on not to do mountain climbing in the near future. Hehe;
2. Celebrated three years with J. And I can say more stable and happier, with lesser tantrum-fights;
3. Invested on important things like life insurance and nice things like a good tablet, plus setup an equities portfolio towards a (hands fencing my line of sight) vision;
4. Became a registered voter, together with the whole Macadangdang-Pazcoguin clan;
5. Spent an overdue 3-day vacation in Palawan with best friends of 11 years. Probably one of the happiest days of the year.
At the start of the year 2012, I was overly optimistic. I felt time and the best resources are in my hands and that I can do anything if I just will them to happen. But nearing the last month of the year, I feel somewhat disappointed. I felt that I haven’t really crossed out a lot of things that I wanted and planned to do. And with less than a month to go, I can only feel helpless on my situation.
Come final days of 2012, I got to cross out a very important thing I could have done a year ago. Although one year too late, crossing it out gave me a sense of relief. Alas, something tangibly good finally came out of the year. And several days before that, I heard a news that might, might actually get me a few steps closer to one of my short-term goals.
And thus the root of something I wanted to teach myself this 2013: to not be too hard on myself. True enough, I take time to smell the flowers and enjoy regular moments with the people I love to be with. But I want to not be too hard on myself on an entirely different level: that after I’ve done all the things that I could have done on my part, I must learn to let it go, and not sulk in one corner until I got what I wanted.
Because there are plans we make for ourselves, and there are plans that the universe make for us. And sometimes, like it or not, these plans don’t really coincide. I think the best thing to do for ourselves when that happens, although hard, is to let go.
In 2012, I learned a lot of my capabilities, strengths and talents. I received recognition on things I only thought I'm good at. In turn, I got scared at one point and succumbed to old habits, which is familiar and homey. To put it, I didn't took the risk. Of course, nothing compares with the thrill of experiencing new things and I knew once I made the decision that I would regret it then and there. But I am a "security" girl ever since I can remember... So I didn't took the leap of faith, instead I first built a net.
I think that’s the most important thing I learned last year. And that made me feel confident that I will at least have a good year this 2013. At best, this year is no way but up.
(So I will not forget all year round) Take risks.
In one of the songs I grew up as a kid, there’s a line that goes, “You’ll never miss the water until it’s gone”. I know that last year I had a lot of opportunities to practice and envision this, but seriously I never wish to forget this again in every moment I’ll live if possible. Sincerely, I don’t want to miss the water anymore.
I want to be in the moment that I'm in. Not the moment five minutes prior, not the moment five minutes after. Especially for those once in a lifetime opportunities, I want to live and feel the now at the exact moment it is happening. Take it, breathe it.
Now for a tall ordered year...
Here’s to words I'm yet to write, songs I'll cry out on videoke nights, jollibee moments with friends, dull weeknights for seasonal exams, fifty-two coffee frappes, new people I'm yet to meet, wonderful places to travel and a whole lot of 2013 magic.
Cheers to a sparkling new year to us all. :)
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