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July 28 – Aug 4 I do know that something’s wrong in my life right now, at age 25 and three months old. And I made steps to remedy that, I ... -
The Big Bang Theory series definitely paved my most pop culture-est part of my life. I now watch youtube videos regularly, opened a tumblr a... -
Wait for Me At ten in the evening, I am already halfway on my second pack of Marlboro lights, still struggling to produce even just a... -
If I could fly, I would fly by writing. I wish I could tell you of a more worldly reason for blogging, like empowering women or teaching... -
My Purple Thumb Last Monday, May 13, Filipinos held the national elections. And at 25, it was my first time to vote. Yes, I’m guilty of n... -
Because misery kills and therefore should not win me over, here are 5 pretty little things for the week (July 7-13). I’ve been meanin...
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" ...s ay so long to sleep and hello to the middle of the night. Grab a book or a beer. Get used to Letterman's gap-toothed smile... -
The news that came up last July 12 shocked my well-made plans. But the change was fully welcomed and I was more than happy to do some twe...
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For a year or two now, I have since refused to expand my interest on TV series. After Sex and the City and Grey's Anatomy which I had be... -
Free Starbucks planner FTW! Months before 2012 ended, I thought of collecting stickers for that fancy ever-famous coff...
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| There are times when it's harder climbing down. |
When you really want something, when you’re willing to sacrifice a lot to get it, I think in time the universe will conspire with your dream.
Or do you think I’m just too idealistic?
Before I started high school, I have one goal in mind: to be somebody. I think that started it all, but with that one goal came a flurry of confusion and bouts of depression. I realized I don’t have much talent after all.
You see, I don’t sing high tunes. I have a low singing voice, well I can sing male songs quite well but that doesn’t count.
I can’t shake my booty.
I didn’t want to be a student leader back then, since I’m not Ms. Friendship and all.
I think I write okay but writers in my school didn’t really fit in the “somebody” category. That’s just the way it was.
So I settled for what I can do: be at the top of the class. Once my 13-year-old little mind made that decision, every step I took revolved around that goal.
Of course it wasn’t easy. A lot of times I knew I couldn’t make it. But back then, I have associated giving up to being an outright nobody, which made me depressed all the more. At some point, I wished I have decided to become a cheerleader instead even though you know I can’t shake my booty.
In the end, I graduated valedictorian.
But the worst part came days after graduation when it finally dawned on me: I graduated valedictorian and I don’t know why.
I was afraid to realize it wasn’t all that worth it; I spent high school studying at most times because I fear I would end up just like everyone else, not being able to stand out. But when it ended I felt I was still me, not too much better just, you know, bookish-wiser.
It felt I have achieved somebody else’s dream.
That was depressing but thankfully, college came and there came the big change in my life. I still didn’t want to be a nobody, but that old goal was piled at the bottom of other more important goals all with one common denominator: to be happy.
I partied and got drunk and studied and passed and failed exams. I sang high-tuned songs, and shook my booty (when no one’s watching). I laughed at myself and loved seemingly complete strangers and cried over a broken heart. And in the end, I was happy.
On the contrary as it may have sounded like, I still remained a good girl (amidst all the partying that is). But doing all these things opened me up to a wide range of options, and in the end discovering my personal dreams and priorities.
Now in the corporate world, I am able to use what I had learned in college: I prioritize happiness over my salary, family and relationships over work.
Life being short, I think what’s important is that we do what matters the most to us. This I learned from my mistakes when I was 13, and it’s applicable to life in general.
Of course I still have a lot to improve but what I’m preparing for next is to be able to do really effective time management to juggle ample time with work, professional studies, blogging, galas, family bonding, dates and more. Seems pretty simple but this proves to be a very tough one for me. :)